AC6V's HAM RADIO
AND DX HUMOR PAGE
AC6V's HAM RADIO
AND DX HUMOR PAGE
The QRS Song Via Radio Intel.com
The Ballard of Oscar 9" by the Hamtones
(K1CE, W1MJ, K1BA) Many years ago, the European Space Agency tried to
launch a satellite for AMSAT that would have
been Oscar 9 if it had reached outer space. The launch failed, and
the satellite fell into the ocean. This is the song that The Hamtones
wrote in response, with the "laugh to keep from crying" philosophy.
It is available here.
THE OLD DXER
The sunspots were roaring and the Old Dxer was working DX night and day.
The faithful XYL had had it with his QRZing and blew her stack.
"DX DX DX - thats all you ever think about!" she groaned
"Why I'll bet you don't even remember our wedding date!!
"I mostly certainly do" was the immediate reply.
"It was June 14th, 1958 - Thats the night I worked
the XT1, the CRØ, and the AC6!! -- By AC6V
TRUE DUCIE ISLAND
STORY
The scenario
-- VP6DI has been on the air for a few days and being a new DXCC entity, the
whole world (plus a coupla of other worlds) is trying for a contact. Its early
morning (1630Z) and Ducie has not made an
appearance, the frequency at 21.295
MHz is dead quiet.
Hello
CQ CQ CQ here is W4OLDTIMER, calling CQ and tuning
W4OLDTIMER
Here is VP6DI
VP6
didn't get the rest of the call -- guess you are in Bermuda, I'll turn the beam
-- Handle here is Frank
Well
Frank good to contact you - very good morning -- we are not on Bermuda, we are a DXpedition on Ducie Island
HMM
Where is Ducie Island
BABBLE
GROUSE WHAT'S HE DOING ETC -- From The Anxious Mob Wanting Ducie
Ducie
is in The Pitcarin Group we are on a DXpedition
Oh
You are on Pitcarin -- let me turn the beam
MORE
GENTLE ROUTINE QSO FOLLOWS -- GROUSE SCREAMS THE WAITING MOB.
Well
Frank, I need to get on with today's DXpedition, with your kind permission, --
can I use the frequency?
OH
Sure Thing Jim, I used to DX a bit
SIGNOFF
VP6DI sez QRZ 300 to 310! The band explodes!
WELL DONE DUCIE -- A heart warming story as W4OLDTIMER is 96 Years old and after all it was his frequency!
POLITICALLY INCORRECT DX By AC6V
Hi I found your ham radio humour .. a good read :)
Ham 1 -- Hey I hear Old Megawatt is retiring from Ham Radio
WORKING ROYALITY
W6 -- JY1 Here is W6ANON -- How did you get such a fancy call sign?
OF GENIES AND THINGS A ham operator is operating Field Day alone at a deserted beach. He is taking
a little break from the action, walking around on the beach and notices an
antique brass bottle mostly buried in the sand. He digs it out and discovers
it's a genie bottle! He manages to get it open and a genie appears. "Thank you
for freeing me, O Master!" said the grateful genie. "I will grant you any one
wish you want." The ham thinks about it and says, "OK, I got it. I live right
now in a restrictive neighborhood. I would like to have a 500 foot tower with
all sorts of antennas, despite the homeowners association." The genie looks
worried. "O Master! That's a big order. The power of these HOAs and their CC&Rs
is most powerful! In fact, they are more powerful than even I, O Master! I would
beg you to please choose something else for your wish." The ham says, "OK, let's
do this." He goes over to his ham station and pulls out his log books. "See this
entry? This is a contact I once made with AC6V. I would sure like to get his QSL
card after all this time." The genie looks at the logbook. Then he says,
"Now regarding that 500 foot antenna tower, do you want it
galvanized or stainless steel?"
The Missing
Q-Signals -- Just For Fun -- Like QLF
ANTENNA ROMANCE ... From The Internet
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The true story -- she was a tri-bander and he felt trapped, so they went on
separate beam headings EINSTEIN
ON RADIO
"I am often asked how radio works. Well, you see, wire telegraphy is like a
very long cat. You yank his tail in New York and he meows in Los Angeles. Do you
understand this? Now, radio is exactly the same, except that there is no
cat." __Attributed to Albert Einstein
THE BOOTLEGGER
A bootlegger walks
into a radio store and tells the salesman that he would like to buy the new HF
rig over in the corner. The salesman says, "Sorry, we don't sell to
bootleggers". He leaves, goes home, puts on a brown wig and sunglasses and
goes back to the store and tells the salesman he wants to buy that new rig over
in the corner. Sales guy says, "Sorry, we don't sell to
bootleggers". Old boot asks, "How do you know I'm a bootlegger?"
and the salesman replies, "Because that's not a rig, it's a microwave oven."
ABSOLUTE SILENCE PACKET CLUSTER
CHATTER 12
METER BAND 6
METER BAND
Dit-
a diddle dot dit.
A friend forwarded this interesting story.
Source unknown. de Tom N4KG
The young
man filled out his form and sat down with the seven other applicants in the
waiting area. After a few minutes, the young man stood up, crossed the room to the door of the inner office, and walked right in. Naturally the
other applicants perked up, wondering what was going on. They muttered among themselves that they hadn't heard any summons yet.
They assumed that the young man who went into the office made a mistake
and would be disqualified. Within a few minutes, however, the employer
escorted the young man out of the office and said to the other applicants,
"Gentlemen, thank you very much for coming, but the job has just been
filled." The other applicants began grumbling to each other, and one
spoke up saying, "Wait a minute, I don't understand. He was the last to come in,
and we never even got a chance to be interviewed. Yet he got the job. That's not fair!"
CW
IS!
Pileup On The Orient Express
First BLØOD
HamaLot -- The Old DXer is at it again
ZULU Dawn -- Durnford didn't do well either!!
N8CPA
writes: "I
love the smell of generator exhaust in the morning--It smells like Field Day!
HAMS THAT NEVER WERE - By AC6V
Yagi Berra
Yogi Berrasisms - Ham Style
FAMOUS DX QUOTES - By AC6V
Do ya feel lucky QRPer -- Well do ya -- Eastwood
Use
the Force 12, Luke
I'm
as mad as hell, and I'm not going to QRP anymore!"
Here's
ATVing you, kid (or Lid)
I
love the smell of ozone
in the morning...smells like...victory.
Mac,
you ever been in love?" - "No, I've been a Ham all my life. Good
for you - you broke the pileup. -- Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie. She
drove me to DXing. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for. Lightning
Arrrghhhh -- Smoked Hams and Baked Beacons
GREAT DX BOOKS - By AC6V
Antennas Revealed -- By Ms Clipbord of the HOA
GREAT HAM LIES - By AC6V
I only own one radio!! I
am just running a few watts, opps there goes the circuit breaker.
CQ CQ CQ DE Alpha Lima One Echo November
NETTYQUETTE
NICKLES NICKLES (as tho the ham in the Belgium Congo knows what a nickle is)
DXCC - Who needs it -- just made WAL - Worked all lists
PILEUPS ARE!!
Has he worked sixes yet?
WB6PSY claims:
I had just finished a QSO when I heard:
GHØST -- BLØOD -- W1TCH -- S1REN -- B1RE -- GHØUL -- SPØOK -- AL1EN -- TR1CK -- CR1PT-- UBØZO-- BRØOM-- YU/FØOL-- UR2/WE1RD-- WØLF-- BLØB - QSL via SL1ME-- GØRE & GØBLN
--- BØNES --- GR1ZLY -- HANDLE FRANK QTH ST1EN ---
Special event station "BØO" AP1RIL -- Heard this one on April 1st sometime in the late 1980s. Pretty much figured he was
a slim, but worked 'em anyhow. Wasn't really surprised when I didn't get a QSL !
Mark K3ZX
NØEL** -- G1FT -- KR1S** -- KR1NGL -- RE1NDR -- N1CK
Several years ago while eastbound on the Indiana toll road, I came up behind a small pickup
truck with "N0EL" on the tailgate. I took a moment to realize that the second character was a
"zero" and the guy was not a Christmas nut but another ham. A quick "dit-dit-dit-dit
dit-dit" on the horn started a conversation on 2M simplex that lasted for many miles. So I can testify
that N0EL is indeed a real call ....................... I've worked him! 73 Bob AK9RM
QUESTIONABLE CALLS
PHØNY -- DX4U -- 6L6GC -- RG8U -- ST1NK
BØRED
-- yeah you can say that again?
1B3GT -- Sylvania Islands -- From
Ron WN3VAW
NØQSL He is in my logs a thousand times - AC6V
** Issued Call
QRZ FROM DX21DX
(
BIG PILEUP
)
THE YL STATION - GO AHEAD
DX21DX THIS IS WØW
WØW -- NICE SIGNAL -- WHATS UR NAME AND QTH
I'M IN SAN DIEGO AND THE NAME IS DESIREE
WELL DESIREE -- I'LL BE RETURNING TO SAN DIEGO
-- YOU A SINGLE LADY??
NOPE - BEEN MARRIED FOR 27 YEARS
UR 59 DESIREE QRZ FROM DX21DX
--- AC6V
It reminded me of my SWL'ing days in the 1970s.. Now, my memory isn't at
its best and this may have been told to me - rather than heard. It was a slow
night in the English West Midlands on the 2m repeaters and some bored soul put
out "CQ" over VT (eg gb3vt or was it gb3bm?) Anyway there was a brief
silence after the 'k' pips and a deep voice comes back - "This is the
voice of God speaking" and then a 'k' to which the caller says -
"Bloody hell! the skips good tonight"
Thanks to Dave G0CER
OLD MEGAWATT
Ham 2 -- Yeah I heard him say that before
Ham 1 -- I know, but this time the FCC said it!
The following was related to me by a fellow W6 who prefers to remain Anon,
but swears it is true!
You must have some political pull
JY1 -- It helps when your King!!
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
Since they were a perfect match, soon they generated harmonics.
Wrapped the harmonics in dipoles.
But later the harmonics turned out to be parasitic elements.
21.295 S79MC 30-JUNE-1998 WEAK DE AC6V
AC6V DE K6BULL THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE - MINIPROP SEZ NO
PROP THERE
K6BULL DE AC6V OK I'LL SEND THE QSL CARD BACK WHEN
IT ARRIVES
ABSOLUTE SILENCE
CQ CQ UTAH FOR WORKED ALL STATES DE AC6V
AC6V DE K6BULL - YOU'RE GONNA FIND IT TOUGH TO WORK
WAS ON THIS BAND
K6BULL DE AC6V - YEAH I KNOW -- HAVE 49 CONFIRMED -
NEED UTAH
ABSOLUTE SILENCE
CQ CQ MISSOURI CQ MISSOURI FOR WAS DE AC6V
AC6V DE K6BULL AFRAID THERE IS NO PROPAGATION THERE
OM
K6BULL DE AC6V REALLY -- JUST WORKED TWO NEBRASKA
STATIONS DOWN BAND
AC6V DE K6BULL BUT MISSOURI IS A FAR REACH
FROM NEBRASKA
K6BULL DE AC6V HMMM MY MAP SHOWS A COMMON
BORDER AT GRID EN20
ABSOLUTE SILENCE
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Back when the telegraph was the fastest method of long-distance communication, a young
man applied for a job as a Morse Code operator. Answering an ad in the newspaper, he went to the office address that was
listed. When he arrived, he entered a large, busy office filled with noise and clatter, including the sound of the telegraph in the background. A
sign on the receptionist's counter instructed job applicants to fill out a form
and wait until they were summoned to enter the inner office.
The employer said, "I'm sorry, but the last several minutes while you've been
sitting here, the telegraph has been ticking out the following message in Morse Code: 'If you understand this message, then come right in. The job
is yours." None of you heard it or understood it. This young man did. The
job is his. 
DX MOVIES
BY AC6V
Gone With The Wind -- A Yagi Story
Dxpedition To Skull Island By K1NG/KØNG
Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Lid
The Maltese Falklands
To Live and Let Diode -- ØØ73
CasaBlanker
Citizen Band
Key Largo
Silence Of The Hams - Starring Rachel Squelch
Contact - Starring AL1IEN
Zulu -- The Ultimate PileUp!!
Fifth Element -- Story about a 4 element yagi starring Bruce Willis
Custer's Last QSO -- He left the Sabers, Gatling Guns & HT's at the Fort!!!
ZULU Dawn -- GrayLine Prequel
M1SH MASH -- With RF Burns
Gone With The Windom -- The Sequel
Nightmare On Elmer Street -- With JA1SON
VERTICAL!! Directed By Alfred Switchbox
Name is James, Call is BØND -- Agent ØØ73
[ 7:00AM June 28, 1997]"
Dennis Quad "Here We Go Loop De Loop"
Chubbie Chebyshev -- "Do The Twist and Filter It On Down Now"
Crystal Hudson "Like A Rock"
Crystal Gail
Richard Rotor Gere
Biley Crystal - Billy you work the P5? Billy -- Day Ain't Over Yet (From City
Slickers)
Fade Dunaway
Anthony Double Hopkins
When Asked What
The Time Was;
Yogi Berra Replied "You Mean Right Now?"
Hams Reply "You Mean Right Here Or UTC"
When You Come To A Tee In
The Coax -- Take It!
The Contest -- It Ain't Over Til Its Over!
On GPS - Yogi sed "I Think We Are Lost
- But Makin Good Time!"
Never answer an anonymous QSL
You can hear a lot by listening
All the shacks in all the towns in all the world, and the FCC walks into mine. -- Bogie
Here's QSLing you kid -- Bogie
All ya gotta do is - whistle -- To key or to key not -- A mike test by Bacall
Adios QRPer - Stallone or Willis??
Had to work em OM -- he'd be out that door and gone -- E.G. Robinson -- Key Largo
Round up the usual jammers -- Claude
Rains -- Casablanker
You came back - to a pileup like this -- Magnificent Seven
I cudda been on the honor roll Charlie -- Brando
We're on a DXpedition from GØD --The Blues Brothers
I love the smell of ozone in the morning --Apocalypse Now
Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful pileup -- Bogie
ELWOOD: It's 6,000 miles to Heard Isle, we've got a full gallon,
half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
JAKE: Key it!
Yip-e-ki-yay QRPer! -- Who Sed dat???
Surely you can't be serious about DXing?
I am dead serious, and don't ever call me Shirley.
After a horrendous hurricane "Whats up Doc?"
AND OF COURSE:"Frankly my dear, I don't give a QSL." - Gable
Seven Years Before The Mast -- A no-rotor station
The Rise And Fall of The Sun Spot Cycle
Gone With The Wind -- A Quad Story
Much Ado About Nothing -- DXing Exposed
War and DXing
Don Quadotee -- Attacked a 160 Meter Quad
Of Man And Mouse -- Computer Fiction
The Sound and the Fury -- Pileups Explained
Atlas Shrugged
Casey At The Mike
Ur 599 (ur call again please).
Your QSL is in the Mail
I'll Never Build Another Kit Project
I bought my mint TS-950SDX for $300.00.
I worked em on the first call.
I never worked DX on a net!!
After a long boring QSO:
XYL
says dinner is ready.
Just got the ____ call.
We're losing propagation (wiggle the RF Pwr control)
QRM Now -- Better Sign while we can!
OOpps -- there's the doorbell
Gotta land line OM -- 73
OOppss Rover!!! Gotta run and empty the dog!!
Oh shoot, lightning in the area, gota shut down!
XYL says time to take my pills. Gota go!
Time for the local repeater net, Gota go!
I usually copy code around 40 wpm but have an ear infection so using phone
now.
Love code but had my Vibroplex stolen so have to use phone.
From The Strange Mind Of AC6V
DX OF THE THIRD KIND - By AC6V
AL1EN This is WZ6UUU
-- Ur call sounds phoney to me -- Whats ur QTH?
I'm on the White House Lawn Good Buddy!!!
---AC6V
Your 55 12345 12345 NICKELS NICKELS 12345 OVER OVER
I'll give ur signal report on the next over -- over
Did he say 5 by 3, 5 by 2, 4 by 3, No -- Try it again (and again)
When last heard (yesterday maybe) you were 55
Please Copy QRPP Station LØGUN ur 1 by 1 hw copy Over
I'llGiveYouYourReportOnTheNextOverOver
SeventyThreesAndBackToNetOverOver
Good Going - u got his report to you 7 by 3
The SKT -- Go Now
6 guys call!!!
From The DX Reflector
By AC6V
Get off the frequency!!
Huh? Say Again
Shut UP!!!!!!
You say he is working up??
He is working split!!
Huh?
He is listening up!!
Huh??
He is not listening on this frequency!!
Then why is he transmitting here?
Oh Geez!!
Shut up... He is working SPLIT
Are you talkng to me ?
Oh Geez
From K1VV
Who is the DX???
U Can't hear em?? -- how u gonna work em??
He is listening up up up!!!
Where?
200 to 215!!!
Upper or Lower SideBand???
Oh Geezz!!
Will u cops knock it off!!
You are under arrest!!!
Whats his call?
DUMMY -- He only gives it after each report!!!
Whats the QSL Route??
Where is he located???
QRZ -- Is this frequency in use???
No One Is Calling you and
Yes the frequency is in use!!
"
Is this frequency in use
"
and I answered, "No"
A DX Station then sez, "This is YI1BGD, who is this?"
I had never worked a YI - and on 10 meters no less!!
Everyone gets a gift once in his lifetime!!
Pileup cops -- who needs em
You are under arrest
During a huge pileup
What's going on here??
Very little OM - Very Little
This Guy Must Be A SLIM -- Never Gives His Call?
Sez He Is DX11DX
Where's That?
He Sez Charcoal Island!!!!!!
Where's That??
Sez -- The Barbecues Group
Nets -- I hate em sez the old True Blue DXer
Oh Yeah -- Maybe you want those 700 netters in the pileups???
Ask em to call QRP Stations - LØGUN
Sorry we can't copy you!! - B1GUN
QRZ The Frequency???
There are no frequencies on frequency calling you!!!
That is correct -- the frequency just went QRT!!!
HALLOWEEN CALLS
XMAS CALLS
** Issued Calls
-- SL1M -- P1RTE -- NØQSL -- DX1S -- NØDX**
-- WH1M -- L1D -- GR1D -- WØW -- OZØNE -- LØGUN
NØQRM WØRK NØPE NØISY KNØW
-- CH1KEN
ALØHA --- Alaska? Hawaii? where? -- any way -- bye
RG8AU
Isle of Coax - the Belden Congo Tnx WB6PSY
Rick, PE2AAB sez
these are all verified to be authentic
** -- Michel, PE7UP Hans,
PH4NS
REAL ISSUED CALLS -- HONEST!!
Are these calls actually issued -- look em up!
N9CAT K9PIG (huh) N1HOG W1HAM NØEL
N6SSB N9MOO N6LID KN0BS W1RE
N6PIG
N6PIG was so happy when his 9 year
old son got his ham license -- KE6YPQ.
A couple of years later when his son became a rebellious teenager he changed to
NØPIG.
Was it rebellion or flattery?
N1YUK sez "Yep, that's me! Number one YUK"
Gary McMeins sez - I tell hams on the air to remember my call it is no fib -- NØFIB
Dave Edenfield writes in "How about the Romanian ham who always had QSB on his signal...YØYO"
WA1EAT -- Was mistaken for a special event station on Thanksgiving Day!
W2COP W2CU N6RIG KR1S WØMAN
NØNOT confuses em with this -- EVERY ONE JUST REFERS TO ME AS "NO NOT " === RON WESTON OR
(if he is not a NØ -- where is he????)
NØRIG -- Hmm ESP contact maybe
Then there is possibly the shortest call in the USA -- N1DIT.
Ed note or maybe in CW it is NØE (Special Event Using
Abbreviated Numbers) DahDit Dah Dit
Back home in Topeka, we have a ham NØTAX -- Howd He Do That? -- KC0AD
Hen
Party? Rick-W1HEN wrote us "Imagine my surprise when I heard W4HEN calling
CQ on 15 meter SSB. Imagine HIS surprise when I came back to him! We had good
chuckle and nice qso." Ed Note Cackled A Lot Huh?
N5BYE
W1COP is a retired policeman with 25 yrs service, Wife is W1SUE "Sue"
NØDX NØISE N1TP
NØNE -- Person Without A Call????
NØFUN .. Hmm - Wonder What's He Doing??
N8DXR (The Innate DXer)
K6FOX (a YL) W4GOD
OZ2ZZZ and OZ5ZZZ (Sleepy Contest Stations)
Real club call (now abandoned):
NA8V - obviously not a "native" of Florida
73 KA3OUT
KU8E - Shouldn't his call be 9K2** ? (Kuwaiti)
VE3YDX - (why DX?) "because it's there"
Wait Tony - before you sign what is your full call ??
All I got was KA3
And from England -- Robin EX-G8GYB reports his new call -- M Ø NZA. Sed it could have been worse such as M Ø WER, M Ø PED or worse still M Ø RON!!!
And from Todd N1RQB -- a new call K1TEN -- Purr Purr
My (X)YL and I met in college many (28?) years ago. At that time, she passed her Novice and received the call "WN9ERI". Ariel lamented the fact that she had missed "Equal Rights Amendment" for her phonetics by just a few letters. However, years later, when the vanity call sign program expanded to include General class licensees, I surprised her by signing her up for the suffix she had always wanted. She's now K9ERA...Phil Temples, K9HI Watertown, Massachusetts
Generic Dog -- K9DOG
Polish Dog -- SPØT
Original Hot Dog -- K9HOT
Pedigreed Dog --- NØCUR
Russian Dog --- RØVER
Argentinian Dog --- LØBOS
Chompin
Dog --- K9RFI --- When fido strips your coax for you. (TNX KB7NTL)
Untamed Dog --- WØLF
Hungarian Dog --- HØUND
Original Dog -- W1ENR
Pedigreed Dog -- NØCUR
Italian Dog --- IM1CUR
Hunting Dog ---- B1RD/DØG
Sleuth Dog --- BLØOD
German Dog -- DØGIE
Alaskan Dog -- HUØSKI/AL7
French Dog -- F1DO
Hollywood Dog -- GØOFY
My Dog ---
K9TZU
-- Honest A Great Lion Of A Dog
IOTA Dog -- CØNEY
Mad Dog --- GR1RRR
Plain Dog --- PØOCH
Apartment Dog --- T1NY
Guard Dog --- GRØWL
She-Dog ----- B1TCH
He-Dog --- BØZO
K9MOM
-- Raises Dogs (From The real K9MOM)
Marc in Washington State has K9PET as an FCC issued call.
And
what do dogs eat -- K9MIX (from the real K9MIX)
K9FAT is a real call -- moniker is dogfat
And
then there are Barkhausen Oscillations
SINGLE HAMS
NØGUY
SPACE HAMS -- From Cleve, KT7S
NØGAL
NØHIM
NØHER
GREAT XYL -- NØNAG
GREAT OM -- NØCAD
STEPPED-ON HAM --- NØJAM (Please)
REFINED CALIF HAM -- WB6SIR
HAM IN HOA --- NØANT
Muscle Bound Ham --- NØFAT
HAM IN AN APT --- NØCAT, NØDOG
PEDIGREED HAM -- NØCUR
HAM IN JAIL --- NØRIG
HAM IN DEBT --- HØCK
%%
Zero Gravity Ham -- W8LES
AMBIVALENT HAM --- NØYES
EDUCATED HAM -- NØALL
HAM WITH BEST BEANS -- L1MA
%%
NOAH's NEIGHBOR -- NØARK
SHOOT FROM THE HIP HAM --- NØAIM
INDUSTRIOUS HAM -- WØRK
EARLY BIRD HAM -- WØRM
AFFECTIONATE HAM -- K1SS
JUST PLAIN HAM -- PØRK
%%
VERY GOOD CALL -- N1CE
ALL HEATH STATION -- K1TS
HAM IN VEGAS --- Yep u guessed it -- NØWIN
YOUNG HAM ---- W9KID (ex-KB9KID)
DUMB HAM --- ID1OT
%%
DUMBER HAM -- MØRON
%%
DID I MAKE THESE UP ?? --- NØSIR -- They are all in the Book except those marked
%%
By AC6V
THOSE GOOFY A CALLS (Thanks AK4P)
ACØRN --- a nutty ham
AB1RD --- a plane, no its .......
ABØUT --- a verb-ose ham
ALØUD --- An Alaska Kilowatt
AD1CK --- an undercover ham
ACØRK -- a ham with champangne taste
SPØCK VU1CAN KL1ING/ON P1CAR/D D2R2 SCØTTY
FOOTBALL CALLS
B1LLS SF49ERS RA1DER
L1ONS C0LTS CH1EFS
T1TAN G1ANT M1AMI
AND FROM STEVE NU7T USED IN THEIR CODE PRACTICE
Czech Republic / OK2PAY USA
KØRK
England / GØDEZ Japan
/ 8J1HAM USA / NØCW
USA /KEØUI Germany /
DLØRO Russia / UAØFF
England / MØLBS USA
/ WBØBS USA / K1NKY
Sweden / SLØW Poland
SPØTS USA NØLAG
Sudan /STØP
Taiwan /BOØK USA /NØAH
Brazil / PU2PET Philippines / DU2RFI
Finland / OH1O England / GØUT
Panama / HO1A
England / GØING Sweden
/ SMØKY Italy / IM1UP
Canada / VE1VEI Dominican
Republic / HI3LFE Georgia / 4LØG
USA WØOOW England
GØMEG USA / WHØOPS
India / VU2ZAP Norway /
LA1ZY Poland / SNØR Russia
/ RA3GS
Indonesia / YE8S Hungary / HA5PPY
Kyrgyzstan/ EX1T
Netherlands / PA5TA Czech
Republic / OK2BUG U.S.A. /WA1T
Poland / SQ2EAK USA /
NØISE USA / W7UP Cuba
/CO2AIR
Netherlands / PA4PA
USA / wa1mrt Italy / I1GAB
United Kingdom / GØRDO Papua New
Guinea / SHØJI
Finland / OH2BAD Norway / LI3D
Russia / RX9
England / GØOFY USA / NØLID
Russia / R9UM
Slovak Republic / OMØM Kuwait /
9K9K Croatia / 9A9A
USA / W7WHO Netherlands /
PA7UL
Steve, NU7T
POSSIBLE NEW DX COUNTRIES -- By AC6V & Internet
Atlantis (Gotta Find It First Huh)
Bootlegger's Strait (Huh -- Run that by again)
Charcoal Reef (In the Barbecues Group)
Fantasy Island (Da Plane Da Plane -- Full of IRC's)
Good Grief Reef
Grief Reef
HOA Territory (Ms Clipboard Lives Here)
Hog Cay,
Bahamas
Main Isle
Mary Cay (and Avon too)
North - South Territory (Maybe in the middle)
Not Atoll (So what the hell is it??)
Pay Atoll
Pirates Cove
Mischief Reef
QSL Bar -- Don't even ask
QueEss Cay -- Breakins allowed
Ship-Trap Island (Have u read "The Most Dangerous Game")
Skull Island -- Home of K1ng KØng
Slim's Spit
Special Cay -- DX Teams Have Been -- BØWL, SPØON, M1LK (ex-CØWS of course), SU6AR, TØAST and JU1CE -- Tnx To WA7KPK (His Suffix - Kaypee Cay)
Strait Ahead
Strait Sound -- No Processors Allowed!!
Tobacco
Spit
Theater Isle
Total Cay -- (Must give Cereal Number)
Troll Atoll
POSSIBLE SPECIAL EVENTS STATIONS (All Real Places)
The other day I thought that I saw a four land call on a
TAC -- Terrorized All Critters (Same Dirty Linear)
WAS & WAC --
Chicago Style
-- In the late 60's, the Six Meter Club
HAM A: Whats the most important piece of radio equipment you should own? Radio glossary #13
DX stations: "Any more 4's?" (I'm told that W4's don't find this funny, but chuckle at "Any more VE3's?")
Big Rock Candy Mountain, VT
Bird-in-Hand, PA (power measurement contest)
Black Gnat, Ky (Ky inputs from Lloyd Curry NA4D)
Bumble Bee, AZ
Castaway Cay
Chicken, AK
Combined locks, WI
Chugwater, WY
Cut and Shoot, TX -- From Hal K4HB
Davidson Ditch, Alaska
Dinosaur, CO
Duckwater, NV
Eighty Eight, Ky
Embarrass, WI
Enigma, GA
Experiment, GA
Fish Haven, ID
Ft. Dick, CA
Fort Neccessity, LA
Gnaw Bone, Indiana - From Gary V. Smith KD6RXT
Ham Lake, Minnesota
Happy Camp, CA
Hell, Michigan
Hell's
Half Acre, Alabama
Henscratch, FL
High Point, NC (is it high enough?)
Hog
Eye, AR
Lake
Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchau
Mexican Hat, UT
Mexican Water, AZ
Monkey's Eyebrow, Ky
Mudville,
LA (Lots of QRM, QRN)
No
Name, CO
Notrees,
TX (Good place for a tower)
Old Joe, AR
Parachute, CO
Paradise, PA (no local QRN)
Pie Town, NM
Plain Dealing, LA
Podunk,
MI
Poker Flat, Alaska
Possum Trot, Ky
Purgatory,
CO
Rabbit Hash KY. (Near Covington)
Sandwich, MA
Signal Hill, NF -- (where the first amateur operation took place)
Show Low, AZ
Smackover, AR
Social Circle, AR
Static,
TN
Suprise, AZ
Tombstone, AZ
Tortilla Flat, AZ
Truth or Consequences, NM
Two Egg, FL
Uno, Ky
Waterproof, LA
Whiskeytown, CA
Why, AZ
Zap,
NC
Zigzag, OR
license plate here in New Hampshire until I realized that
it was just someone who doesn't believe in forgiveness.
-- NI4NI
From Dave KW1DX
AWARDS -- Not Sponsered By AC6V
WAN -- Worked All Neighbors
WAS -- Worked All Streets (and u thought it was States)
RAGD -- Raised All Garage Doors
WAOO -- Worked All Official Observers
BERC -- Bought Expensive Radio Cheap (TS-950SDX at $300.00???)
QRP -- ESP QSO With A W6
5WAN -- Five Band Worked All Neighbors (easy one)
TOR -- Timed Out Repeater
TOP -- Timed Out Propagation
BAL -- Bored All listeners
TORA -- Timed Out Repeater Again
WANA -- Worked All Neighbors Again
WACO -- Worked All Club Officers
WATL (Worked All Touch Lamps). (tnx N8CPA)
WAL - Worked all lists (poor mans DXCC)
TACD -- Tested all Commercial Devices (Dirty Linear):
Worked the Phone, TV, All Audio Devices, Door Bells,
Burgler Alarms, Paper Shredder, Garage Doors,
Cell Phones et al.
On Key up: Dogs Howl, Birds Go Goofy,
Cat scurries under Couch
and all rodents leave the premesis!!!!
of Chicago used to have unofficial awards WAC and WAS:
Worked All Chicago and Worked All Suburbs -- N7DKH (ex WA9SSR)
Tom LA1PHA reports -- WAP = Worked all pianos
Before I became hamradio operator I worked CB.
One evening I worked my neighbors piano while he
had a party.
HAM B: Well you would say the Antenna. I'd have to say that is a very close #2 behind my credit card.
From Doug KD7DKU
Integrated circuit: You have the only one in existence. This theory will be
borne out when you try to obtain a replacement.
From George VE3YV / K8HI
BTW, by rearranging the letters of: "The morse code" it becomes "Here come dots" (stayed up all night for that one) From Renegade - from the People’s Republic of Winnetka
ONE LINERS
Avast -- This is a holdup mate -- your rig or your wife!!! --- Pause WELL??? I'm Thinking I'm Thinking -- Jack Benny
DX IS -- Hugh Cassidy
SPACE CADETS _ VERSION 1
SPACE CADETS - VERSION 2
Big Gun W6: "Ahchooo" --
Is this frequency in use? --
Old radio nuts never die, they just fade into the noise. -- Joe Buch N2JB
"Why did the DX'er cross the road? To get to the next grid square!" -- AB7RG
"Old Hams never die, they just QSB." -- AB7RG
"Happiness is BEING the DX station!" -- AB7RG
"There's nothing to fear but fear itself, except maybe a high SWR reading..." -- AB7RG
From Here, There, and Everywhere
599 Ain't No Zip Code -- Anon
Observation the morning after the contest:
"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history -- with the possible exceptions of tequila or a borrowed Vibroplex key." --K0HB
UR 59 - Now what was ur call again? -- N6KI
Parasitic Element: A person who takes lists for DX-stations. Bruce Talkington -- N4ZEZ
Heard on 80 Meters -- "The name here is George. That's George, Echo, Oscar, Radio, George, Echo." -- Via G8IZZ.
Q. Why did the chicken wire cross the road?
A. To make a ground plane, of course -- AC6V
Big Gun: QRP is for sissies!
Little Gun: Yeah and Goliath sed that too! -- AC6V
CQ CQ DX - No QSLs - Just QSOs (Guaranteed Pileup Getter) - AC6V
WZ8ZZZ
Listening --- Sounds like ur transmitting OM! -- No Cal Repeater
Can I have a Radio Check Please? -
WZ8WWW
NO! -- So Cal Repeater
We don't give radio checks in this state - NY Repeater
Dead Silence -- Wyoming Repeater
Not to Yankees, we don't - W4 Repeater
AC6V note -- I actually received these responses.
Can I have a Radio Check Please??
MasterCard, Visa, American Express, Diners Club, Carte Blanche', and personal checks accepted, but cash prefered. Radio checks are not negotiable.
Tnx to Andy the dustybear
I DX, therefore I am! -- AC6V
I doubt, therefore I might be -- AC6V
DX IS -- Every 11 Years or so -- AC6V
Give me ambiquity or give me something else -- Dave WB7AWK
To QRO or Not To QRO -- Ain't No Question! -- AC6V
According To My Calculations - There Ain't No Problem -- Internet
"I am Ham, of Borg. Anything that can be used for or as part of an antenna will be assimilated." -- Clinton Herbert, AB7RG
"Phone lines go down, power goes out, but RF goes up!" -- Clinton Herbert, AB7RG
"Rule Numbers 404 & 505 of Ham Radio: Anything that can be used as a station "accessory" can and will be. Anything that can be used to prop up, hold up, or otherwise support an antenna will be." -- Clinton Herbert, AB7RG
They never call me -- they always think we are just tuning up !!! --- Whitey K1VV
I don't know all I need to know, about everything I have anything to do with. -- K4WSP
CQ CQ CQ - No Lids, No Kids, No Space Cadets -- "Attributed to the late W2OY, Mike, back in the late 40's on 75 meters when it was a Class "A" only band.
Mike was known around the northeast for this everytime he called CQ."
From Bob Wilder, W4RHW
If you didn't hear W2OY, you missed a one-of-a-kind. Actually, he said, "CQ CQ CQ. No kids, no lids, no school bus riders or space cadets. No kings, no queens, no jacks. This is the NO PHONETICS station, W2OY." I heard that hams in his town got so worked up over his antics, that somebody sneaked into his yard one night and drove a pin through his coax, but I have no way of knowing whether this story is true. -- From Bill, NG3O
DX11DX Replies -- Ur only 10 over today Harry -- AC6V
You Can Get Further With A Kind Word and a Linear - than u can with just a kind word - Big Al From Chicago (AC6V)
"Be it an airplane or a wire; when in doubt, ground it!" (Larry Levy --WA2INM, March 1963)
'Morris' is a cat, 'Morse' is a code -- Internet
Your using it, arent ya! (Pat/N7IC)
In genuine QSO, The handle here is Fred.
F=Fred, R=Red, E=Ed, D=Dead.
Tnx - 5B4AGC
Many moons ago, 5A1TH used 5A1 (Tired Husband)
He had 5 wives I think.
73 de 5B4AGC
Q: How many DXers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: All of them. One to change it and the rest to argue about whether it counts as a light bulb.
-- Ward N0AX
THE QRPers Quiet
Radio Power From Steve, NU7T
*Did you
know a good QRP radio is actually a tape recorder ?
*Have you
ever watched a QRP operator in action ?
*QRP
clubs are gaining in popularity.
Hams realize simultaneous transmission
*Why
do QRP operators, with an RST of 219, insist on telling you the details
*Did
you notice QRP ops shout during an eyeball QSO ?
*Old
DX ops never die. They go QRP.
*I
listened to a QRP net last night and didn’t hear a thing.
*A
QRO op gets by with a light bulb on a fence post.
*How
can you tell if a mobile station is QRP ?
*Why
does a QRP op leave his amp on ?
*Why
does a QRP op in North Dakota keep his amp on ?
*Why
does a QRP op keep his amp on ?
*I
love QRP nets. It is always my
turn.
*Funny
thing, my AF knob only works on .060.
*How
many QRP Ops can use the same frequency ?
All of them, because they won’t interfere with each other.
*The
best use of the chat room is for QRP ops to hold a QSO while on the air.
*Why
doesn’t the new Ten Tec rig have a frequency display ?
*QRP
keys also serve as tie clasps.
*Vic
keeps his QRP rig in a cigarette pack so he won’t sit on it.
*Have
you noticed QRP ops talk to themselves a lot ?
*What
does a QRP op gain from having an antenna ?
*Have
you ever wondered why QRP rigs are so simple to use ?
*Did
you notice a QRP op makes as many contacts after his batteries die ?
*Why
are there no questions on FCC exams regarding QRP operation ?
*How
many QRP stations does it take to make a QSO from one state
*One
advantage of QRP is no RFI complaints from ops or neighbors.
*If
you make a mistake during assembly of a QRP kit, your number of contacts will
not be affected.
*I
think I have finally made a QRP contact. The QRP rig was connected to my 11
THE DX REFLECTOR
Q: How many dx internet mail list subscribers does it take to announce a new dx station?
A:
1,343
1
to spot the dx and and to post to the mail list that the dxpedition has been spotted;
14
to share similar experiences of working the dx and how the dx could have been worked differently;
7
to complain about the dx operating habits, lack of low band activity, interference to nets, lack of WARC activity, too wide splits, too narrow splits, or not enough
cw;
27
to point out the spelling/grammar errors in posts about the dx;
53
to flame the spell checkers;
41
to correct spelling/grammar flames;
6
to argue over whether it's "dx-pedition" or "dxpedition";
another 6
to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive;
156
to write to the list administrator about the dx spot discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list;
109
to post that this list is not about splits, cw or low band activity and to please take this email exchange to
dx-l;
203
to demand that cross posting to grammar-l, spelling-l and dx-l about dx be stopped;
111
to defend the posting to this list saying that we all work dx and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this mail list;
306
to debate which method of working the dx is superior, where to look for him, how many calls it took -5 being the lowest so far and why this is the worst dx pedition EVER;
27
to post URL's where one can see examples of better operations;
14
to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's;
3
to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this list which makes the dx discussion relevant to this list;
33
to link all posts to date, then quote them including all headers and footers and then add "Me too";
12
to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the dx controversy;
19
to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three";
4
to suggest that posters request the dx list FAQ;
43
to ask what is "FAQ";
4
to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago on the List?"
141
to ask "How do I unsubscribe?"
1
to ask if anyone's heard the dx.......
1
more to ask what country the dx is in....
Sound familiar?
This Gem By N1DG
CQ CQ CQ DX -- Beaming Deep Central Asia From W11BG -- W11 Big Gun, Beaming Deep Central Asia and bye for a call!!
Pause
Weak Signal -- your also puttin a helluva signal into Modesto, California OM
--AC6V
How many Ham Radio Operators does it take to constitute a pileup??
25 -- the callee, a callor, and 23 cops to tell em she's listening up!!
---AC6V
-------------------------------------------------
"The Die Hard DX'er!"
By: Clinton Herbert -- AB7RG.
THE DXPEDITION:
5:00 AM - Fellow DX'ers arrive. Crawl out of nice warm bed.
5:30 AM - Toss all gear into truck.
5:45 AM - Get gear out of neighbors truck, and put it in yours.
6:00 AM - Get speeding ticket while hurrying to get to the mountains.
7:15 AM - Get to "The Site", near top of mountain.
7:16 AM - Start unloading gear.
7:20 AM - Get poked in eye with 20M vertical by fellow DX'er.
7:50 AM - Arrive at hospital to get eye patched up.
8:30 AM - Get another speeding ticket while heading up to mountains.
8:45 AM - Arrive back at site. Unload antennas yourself this time.
9:45 AM - Hike up to mountain top. Pass out from exhaustion.
9:50 AM - Wake up to smelling salt, and laughter from fellow DX'ers.
10:00 AM - Put up antennas, and set up rigs.
10:15 AM - Fire up rig, call CQ for half an hour; no replies.
10:46 AM - Hook up coax to rig...
10:48 AM - Realize that finals are wasted in main rig.
10:50 AM - Hook up back-up rig, this time with coax.
11:00 AM - Yell CQ, rare VP8 comes back; antenna falls down...
11:15 AM - Wake up to smelling salt, fellow DX'ers shaking heads.
11:30 AM - Guy antennas.
12:05 PM - See long list of QSO's made by fellow DX'ers.
12:06 PM - Notice rare VP8 in logbook.
12:07 PM - Beat fellow DX'er over head with logbook.
12:09 PM - Restrained by rest of DXpedition team.
12:30 PM - Back to rig for another attempt.
12:35 PM - Nearby lightning strike kills receive. Notice wet pants...
12:36 PM - Look for shelter.
12:38 PM - Find cave!
12:41 PM - Watch antenna get struck by lightning while hiding in cave.
12:42 PM - Wish it was fellow DX'er's antenna, or him that was struck...
12:45 PM - Realize you're not alone in cave...
12:46 PM - Pick up really big rock...
12:47 PM - Mauled by large angry bear.
12:50 PM - Get pulled out of cave by fellow DX'ers.
1:05 PM - Finally get talked into receiving medical treatment.
1:30 PM - Arrive back at hospital.
1:55 PM - Receive series of painful rabies shots, and multiple stitches.
2:30 PM - Get out of hospital and return home.
2:35 PM - "Explain" stitches and eye patch to wife.
3:00 PM - Realize gear is still up on mountain, with bear.
3:01 PM - Wish fellow DX'ers were still up on mountain, with bear...
3:03 PM - Consider taking up drinking.
7:00 PM - Get phone call from DX'er buddies.
7:05 PM - Agree to go on DXpedition again tomorrow...
-------------------------------------------------
These goodies are from Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"If at first you don't succeed, try calling CQ again." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"Hams never go senile, they just QSY a little with age." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"You know it's bad when... you start hearing CW all the time, and there really isn't any..." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"You're an addict when... You start carrying your HT with you everywhere, even into the bathroom..." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"There's no effective DSP or Notch Filter for a parrot!" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"There shortest distance between two paths depends upon propagation." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"The shortest distance between two paths is often a repeater or node." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"Elmer or complain, you choose. Which is more fun for you?" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"It's pretty bad when your baby's first words are; "CQ"!" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"It's pretty bad when your parrot starts calling CQ in CW. It's worse when your parrot starts imitating dead carriers and heterodynes. But the
very worst thing is when your parrot racks up a higher score during a contest than you!" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"If you have a squawking bird in the background during a QSO, is this considered having a "chirp" on your signal?" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
""Surprise" one of your friends -- twist both the Load and Plate controls fully clockwise while he's transmitting!" -- Clinton Herbert
AB7RG
Life's too short -- call CQ!" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"When in doubt, call CQ!" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"When in doubt, QRO." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"Communication is the key to happiness." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"Life getting boring? Post yourself to the local DX Cluster and see what happens!" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"You might be a ham if... You have more wire up and coax cable run than the electric company and the cable company combined." -- Clinton Herbert
AB7RG
"You know it's bad when you pick up the phone and say "QRZ?" instead of hello." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"I chase DX, therefore I am." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"You know it's bad when you tell a joke in person and end it with "HI HI"!" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"The more noise you make, the more contacts you rake!" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"There had better be Amateur Radio in Heaven when I become a SK or I'm coming back!" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"It's pretty bad when you sign your callsign instead of your name." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"When the band is seemingly "dead", try this: "QRZ? The P5 again please..." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"User: The confused operator reading bulletins on a BBS" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"Sysop: The operator sitting back and laughing at all the user typos on the BBS" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"If an antenna falls in the forest, and no one is there to see or hear it, does it's SWR change?" -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"Think that nobody cares about you? Start tossing a dead carrier on your local repeater for an hour and see how many people suddenly take an
interest in you..." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"DX IS!" -- or "Was", if you were too busy tuning up your amp and missed it." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"Yes Alex, I'll take "Things only an Amateur Radio Operator would know" for $1,000.00." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"Good Day: When you are DX'ing from a remote tropical island.
Bad Day: When the remote tropical island turns out to be Jurassic Park and a T-Rex comes after you." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"Good Day: When you avoid getting eaten by a T-Rex while DX'ing from Jurassic Park (TE0JP?)
Bad Day: When you realize a day later that you left your log book behind, with the T-Rex..." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"Good Day: When you and several of your DX'er buddies go off for an island DXpedition.
Bad Day: When your DX'er buddies form an alliance and vote you off the island." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"Good Day: When you get help from the friendly island natives when setting up your DXpedition.
Bad Day: When the friendly island natives turn out to be cannibals..." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"Good Day: When you are raking in DX stations and a P5 calls you.
Bad Day: When lightning strikes your antenna just as the P5 is calling you." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"You know it's bad when you start giving out RST reports when you are on
the telephone." -- Clinton Herbert AB7RG
"ESPQRP: Extra Sensory Perception QRP -- The TRUE QRP!" -- Clinton
Herbert AB7RG
"There's nothing to fear but fear itself. Well, that and poor propagation and a high K Index." -- Clinton Herbert
AB7RG
All AC6V Items --Copyrighted 1996, 1998
GO BACK TO THE BIG INDEX